Monday, March 30, 2009



So I did get a blackberry!
And I bought a white housing for it that will hopefully soon arrive in the mail!
I'll post pics of it when it's all prettified up.

And yes to Sus' comment, I think an iPhone is more "me" but so many people at church have a blackberry that I ended up getting one. It's like you can count the number of people who don't have one, it's so strange. Almost as if we offer a blackberry to you when you decide to join our membership for our congregation.

I tried so hard to wake up at 6am today to do QT but it was an epic fail. I just got up now so I feel pretty rested! I'll do QT after this post, but ya I'm trying these days this whole 'discipline' thing, I heard it's hard but kind of awesome for your life so I decided to try it out (after a .....6=7 year hiatus of such efforts).

The reason why I slept in was because I slept so late again! Weekends..actually weekdays too are ending up becoming a 'no sleep fest' event on a constant basis. I'm so used to not getting sleep these days that it's not a big deal when I get even 3-4 hours a night. But eventually it catches up on me, and I have to sleep it all out like a bear...I guess it's good that I recover somehow?

The reason I stayed up late was because I was playing Settlers of Catan! Last time I played I won my brother and someone might have been Chris, but ya I failed this time. It was okay though, I'm not really that competitive a lot of the times. I found that when I am competitive, I get really into the point that I disregard the understanding that others have feelings and are people too. So I try not to let the competitive nature overcome me...

On another note, I am currently in the process of binding my own book! It is taking forever but I thought it was a cool project to do for my final assignment (that is apparently worth 70..% of my mark?). It took me hours to put the small holes in the papers and thread it all together with thread...and needle. I'll post up pics once it's accomplished.

And on another note, no no no misunderstandings. There is definitely no boy! Tehe! I'll explain to you guys another day, but truly truly can I say how awesome and amazing it is to be in a relationship with a living God? These days I'm realizing just how crappy I am in inside...not to put a downer upon myself but I just have so much hope. When you are with Jesus, you can't pretend about so many things, especially when you really want to know him. I've been praying for a heart, a pure heart that can see God, and one that is just so so so desperate, hungry, and thirsty to just want Him. To worship Him, to believe in his goodness, to give him all the glory in my life. I want to have that kind of raw passion for God.

I'm learning why I would have my "ups and downs" before in my spiritual walk. It came down to a few things:

1. Lack of QT - from lack of discipline - from lack of truly understanding what justification really means
2. Believing that ones spiritual life is 'good' or is 'bad' according to how ones external circumstances are, and how those affect your mood. Being close to God doesn't mean you have to be happy...having a good week. It can mean you are having a pretty horrible week, but being in a close and loving..and trusting relationship with Him anyway
3. This is kind of like QT, but just daily...continuous diaglogue. Being honest. Knowing this whole "Jesus" thing is for real. We're going to die one day! (Haha that sounds kind of morbid).

Anyways I should go do some of that practicing what I'm preachin, and then do the launders, and then maybe try to contact esther and then and than ....go to class? Tehe!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hello crappy week! How are you? Great! Me too!

I just did a video blog and I realized that I uploaded the wrong video AND the wrong html..blah. This continues my week of crap.

However!!!!! What I wanted to express in this video was that ya, little things are going wrong everywhere this week. But in the end, like at the end of day, I'm okay. Like what I mean by that is God is still with me ALWAYS. He is good and I am starting to believe more and more in his character, no matter what 'crappy' circumstances I end up being in. So I'm going to keep choosing God! Choosing to worship him!


So I'm this close to getting a blackberry.
And NO I'm not getting a "sexy" Bold or New curve (8900), I'm just getting the old curve! I think it's still quite cute, and I've been looking for some replacement housing for it online, I'm thinking either white or bright yellow would look quite snazzy. Tehehe.

Actually I'm glad that the video didn't post.
BECAUSE I mentioned something in the end of it that I don't want to mention...anymore. TEHE. It had to do with a boy, not that there is a boy! But yes I'm a loser. AHHH I can't believe the summer is almost here. And I can't believe I'm going to be doing full-time school during it! This is outrageous!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

A quickie

I just want to say thanks for anyone who has prayed for me the past few days.

I feel like I have a lot of peace in my heart about this situation. And that even though it's hard to take that first step to love. It's so worth it! It's not like the situation is better, but it's definitely better on my part. I want peace between me and God, so I'm going to do my part! I love how God works! And I'm learning how to trust in His goodness!!

I just saw that Ashley and Jo updated...YAY. I wish more people updated more. However I have to get ready to schoolify myself today so I will check it out later!

Friday, March 20, 2009

A slap in the face

I'm not used to being slapped in the face.
I'm not talking about physically, but the metaphor of being slapped in the face...

To be brutally honest, it hurts. I think my stereotypes are slowly being broken down. What I mean is that I know that I have some issues with guys and respecting them. I can probably count on my fingers how many guys I actually have respect for. That being a whole other story, I want to focus right now on women/girls. I always uphold girls in my head so high. Through all the things I've been through in my life, I feel like I can understand girls so much better than I can guys. And because of that I hardly get annoyed at them (except for maybe Jae-Kyung in BOF...haha) because psychologically deep down I feel like if I dig deeper I can understand them in their actions. The blame often unfairly falls on the guys in the picture but still, they still hold a pedastool in my head.

So the reason I'm hurting is because I'm going through a situation where something I always believed in is not reigning true. That is the power of sisterhood. (As corny as that sounds). I always thought that when two women came together and really opened up, or started to open up, about their thoughts, their lives, that nothing could break that. As in one woman wouldn't betray another after doing that.

I know it's not officially an act of betrayal, but I feel betrayed. Knowing such awesome women of Christ in university made be somehow believe that all women were like that. I'm not used to women who aren't and I guess that is me coming out of my naive shell. I'm not used to being confused about why that person is doing something. Because in the past, I could always say, "ya I've been there, and I'd probably do that too...or have the possibility of doing the same thing, I can see it." But I can't see it this time and it really is confusing and hurting.

The thing that sucks is how God is still calling me out to love just as he loves me. And I've been wrestling with him about it a lot. Why is the position of 'leading the relationship', 'saying sorry first', 'humbling myself' placed upon my heart and not theirs. Not just in this situation but another previous one too. It just sucks. Plain out sucks because we're called to love when we are hurt. This must be what it means to turn the other cheek. I guess I can understand now what Jesus meant by that, it was never really a physical cheek, was it.

I just feel so broken inside about this.
Because I want to love but I know if I keep doing it, I'll keep feeling more pain. And I don't want to feel that pain. So I keep running away. From God, from myself, from being honest with the situation. But I don't want to run away because I hate being a coward and because out of all things I want to know my God intimately, with no walls in between. God, I need you so much.

Familiar Blue Glow In the Sky That I Hate

A.K.A. an allnighter.

For some reason, I have not the ability to start an assignment at least ...two-three days before it's due. It's like innately against my nature or something and I must stop it somehow!

I have a texture assignment due "today" and I feel like I won't make it to my colour class in order to get it done (yes!!!...ha ha...i don't like that teacher somehow manages to wear a see-through shirt so all the world can see just exactly where her nipples are, more than once. so not pleasant to see).

My unfinished almonds that I've been working on forever.

Two more textures to draw: bubble wrap and aluminum foil. Oh dear gosh.

I'm going to volunteer at our church's upcoming basketball tournament this Saturday. I wonder just how much help I will be...

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Me + Timea = Mixed Lisa

So I just completed this "Genetic Splicing" assignment for my Digital Design class...what.."fun" hahaha, but I thought it was just so funny how the picture turned out. Here it is!

HAHAHA, so that is what I would look like if I was half white...or something?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

10 Random Things & PICS

Wow I just realized I FINALLY have pictures to upload!!!! YAYYY.

So yes I went downtown on Monday to take pictures for my city shoot project. It was really fun! I went with my friend Sohyung who kind of showed me where to walk in order to get to Chinatown and Kensington Market. I hadn't been in that area for a while so it was nice to venture off, especially in this beautiful weather!

I took this kind of near my place. It was so cold, and I felt like an idiot taking pictures while people walked by...I have no idea why. Oh yes now I remember, it's because I couldn't remember how to get this effect. Note to self: small aperature, long shutter speed.

I got off St.Patrick station downtown to meet my friend, and I was overwhelmed by a longgggg line of protesters. Personally I LOVE protests. I love it when people who have one purpose in mind come together and fight for something they are passionate about. In this case, this is a bunch of people come together to stand up against the genocide against the Tamils that is currently happened in Sri Lanka. I remember thinking like an idiot on the subway, "Wow there are a lot of...brown people on the subway today carrying red flags. Is there a soccer game? *clickage in brain when I saw them*"

This is a shot of some graffiti at Kensingtong market and some trash bins. This is one of the shots that I eventually handed in for the project.

So showed me this AMAZING candy store that reminded me of that candy store in the old school Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I half expected the old man behind the counter to offer us some of that mysterious/fantastic candy soda/juice that they have in the movie. I've always wanted to try that. As well as the juice that came out of that tree that Pippi Longstocking had.

Soh looking at a wall...

And some more random pics!

Monday, March 16, 2009

OH my.

I have no idea how I'm going to be able to finish all this stuff in one week!!!!!

I should be getting ready to go out,
but I just had to write a few lines.

I had so much fun yesterday at Ashley's birthday thanggggg. Except for maybe 'Get Do' Hahaha. And can I just say how convenient it is in every aspect of life to live in Toronto, except for maybe missing my mom's cooking and hugs.

AND I'm totally stressed about a certain situation and I'm noticing that when I have a hard time with something I think my natural response is to like close myself off from God and try to deal with these horrible feelings on my own but I'm glad I"m catching myself in the act cause it's darnded wrong.

Ok time to like not sleep again for..a.WEEK.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Inspired by Susan

Susan blogging so often has inspired me to blog too
I look like a complete train wreck right now so no video blog for me,
but it WOULD be nice to daily update this thing, even if it's just a sentence like,

"I have almost eaten all the cheese in this household and it makes me happy."

Okay so before I go on,
I have to explain that I haven't slept for about...30 hours or so.

I don't know about you but when I am working on art projects late late into the night, early morning I talk incessantly to myself, as if I was my own friend or something. But somehow it just keeps you going, doesn't it Lisa? Yes yes it does.

I bought the new Barbie lip gloss by cake and it smells and tastes SO DELICIOUS.

I am back moved in!!! Yay for closeness to church and school!! (well not so much school but...yah).

Disconnected thoughts...

Three of the five cameras I own are staring at me right now, like they're saying "you haven't used me for so long, you hate me you hate me!!"

I need a new amazing hand cream.

I saw a really cute korean guy at eatons centre today. Like actually good looking, you know how some korean guys seem like they're good looking because they have nice style but once you do a second glance you're like, 'oH..oh oh no no no." Yah, this one was more like "Meh...oh wait...oh WAIT yes yes yes" ...But he was with a chirpy korean fobster girl so I didn't ask him for his number...( I would actually do that by myself...I feel drunk right now cause I'm so tired...)

Sound of music was amazinggggg last week. Although I kind of didn't like the girl who played how am I forgetting her name. dot tumbleweed

So at eatons centre I went into Zara's today and OH MY GOSH. All the new spring outfits and dresses are SO PRETTY. I WANT but I POOR. So I walked out..only to be made breathless by this mannequin from Club Monaco. K I don't remember exactly what it was wearing, but it was one of those outfits that you only come by once every ten years with the reaction of, "If I had to wear the same outfit every day, like if I were to be made into a cartoon character on the Simpsons to wear every day, I would wear this outfit" sort of thing. I am majorly in shopping withdrawal, I bought 3 articles of clothing since Korea...I think that's pretty good non?

I'm lame because I have no pictures.