I rearranged my entire room yesterday as an act of procrastination. Sometimes I have to physically rearrange something in my life in order for that to reflect a change in my habits/mentality. So now my desk is faced towards my window which happens to fit just perfectly! I am now officially my street's neighbourhood watch.
It's raining really hard right now. I kind of like it. I feel like the rain is washing away things clean again.
Interruption for Neighbourhood Watch Update: I keep seeing squirrels running around on the streets like crazy. They don't know in what direction to go, it's like the rain is confusing them. HAHAHAHAA they are so cute.
This past week I realized I was a little down and I didn't know what it was. As I was reading my book on the subway (I have finally found a way to finish all 13 books I have started...I read them on the subway. Genius commuters have inspired me, thank you) I came across a part in the book that talked about loving others. I know it's so cliche but sometimes we forget that there is a reason why they are so cliche.
Anyways basically I had this revelation that I suck. Yes yes it is a revelation that I have very often but this time it really made me feel free from the inside out. I realized that one of the reasons I was down is because I was not placing my efforts to love other people as much as I could. When we place all our energy on our own problems and thoughts I think we die a little inside each day. We were meant to love. We were meant to foster relationships, because that is exactly what Jesus did when he was on this earth.
I started to think...if I had to make a pie chart of how much time I spend on my own problems and life, and how much I spend on the lives of others. The result was really sad. Do I know the love languages of my closest friends? Of my own parents? Do I seek to really understand other people and how they feel loved the most? Am I really concerned about any of this? No...I'm not. This lead onto other revelations that I won't talk about here but bottomline is that I'm thankful. When we're ready to face our own inadequacies and own up to them, I think God slips in the truth in our heads little by little in ways of kindness. I know for a fact that if a person came straight up to me and said I sucked and that I have to love others more that I would probably be uber depressed for a while before I started to act on that. Yet God encourages while he shapes our character up. Well at least for me!
I am encouraged now that even though I am far from having it right, that I have today and hopefully tomorrow to place my efforts in what I have been entrusted with.
So straight up to whoever is reading this: What's your love language? From first to last?