Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Rainy Day.

I rearranged my entire room yesterday as an act of procrastination. Sometimes I have to physically rearrange something in my life in order for that to reflect a change in my habits/mentality. So now my desk is faced towards my window which happens to fit just perfectly! I am now officially my street's neighbourhood watch.

It's raining really hard right now. I kind of like it. I feel like the rain is washing away things clean again.

Interruption for Neighbourhood Watch Update: I keep seeing squirrels running around on the streets like crazy. They don't know in what direction to go, it's like the rain is confusing them. HAHAHAHAA they are so cute.

This past week I realized I was a little down and I didn't know what it was. As I was reading my book on the subway (I have finally found a way to finish all 13 books I have started...I read them on the subway. Genius commuters have inspired me, thank you) I came across a part in the book that talked about loving others. I know it's so cliche but sometimes we forget that there is a reason why they are so cliche.

Anyways basically I had this revelation that I suck. Yes yes it is a revelation that I have very often but this time it really made me feel free from the inside out. I realized that one of the reasons I was down is because I was not placing my efforts to love other people as much as I could. When we place all our energy on our own problems and thoughts I think we die a little inside each day. We were meant to love. We were meant to foster relationships, because that is exactly what Jesus did when he was on this earth.

I started to think...if I had to make a pie chart of how much time I spend on my own problems and life, and how much I spend on the lives of others. The result was really sad. Do I know the love languages of my closest friends? Of my own parents? Do I seek to really understand other people and how they feel loved the most? Am I really concerned about any of this? No...I'm not. This lead onto other revelations that I won't talk about here but bottomline is that I'm thankful. When we're ready to face our own inadequacies and own up to them, I think God slips in the truth in our heads little by little in ways of kindness. I know for a fact that if a person came straight up to me and said I sucked and that I have to love others more that I would probably be uber depressed for a while before I started to act on that. Yet God encourages while he shapes our character up. Well at least for me!

I am encouraged now that even though I am far from having it right, that I have today and hopefully tomorrow to place my efforts in what I have been entrusted with.

So straight up to whoever is reading this: What's your love language? From first to last?


sun.ah said...

ello, mate!
HAHAHAHAH sorry about that random message today, i looked at my phone and realized that i had made an almost 3-minute call to you hahahaha
I was leaving the gym today with mark and a froshie and having difficulty unlocking the doors and was all harried because it was raining on me while i fumbled with the keys.
hence, my accidental call to you. surprise! lol
eeek, i've recently finished reading a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and have been really motivated to show love in my life too.... you know how during undergrad we'd be all, "i don't think i GET God's love" and stuff? hahaha i think we're both realizing that its never meant to be completely UNDERSTOOD... but yeah, to keep discovering and rediscovering snippets of what He meant for Love to truly be.
i'm sorry i've been unable to come for a massive sleepover, but my legs are MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH better now and i think i am able to embark on such an adventure. ^^
tentativelyyyy next thursday --> saturday?? how do those days look for you? i also have to meet up with another friend of mine who i haven't seen since like... grade 10, just to warn you.
but yes.
miss you bunches and why don't you just come to korea with me HEE HEE-
ahhh haha i have so much to talk with you about and i hope you're enjoying the rest of today's rain.

sun.ah said...

oh and i want to answer the love language question but i need clarification as to what you mean by a love language!
clarification, please.

jikim said...

my top one is quality time =)

Lisa said...

those days work for me!!! i have class thurs and fri but who cares! hahaha and have u heard of gary chapman? he wrote this book about how there are 5 love languages that people mainly have to communicate/receive love the best to their unique self, usually u rate them from primary to last...kind of thing, ji's #1 is apparentl QT!! mine is words of affirmation...the other ones are physical touch, acts of service, and giving/receiving gifts.