It's been such a rush of things these past few weeks. Today I realized that even though I hate commuting to work and to school, it's the one time in my day that I get to really just rest and be still.
It was dark when I was walking home from the station today and it began to snow. It wasn't just any snow. It was LOVE SNOW. I love love snow. When the snow just slowly falls down and reflects when the light from the street lamp hits it just right. I slowed down my walking and I took a big deep breath. 'I love you Jesus' is all I said and I realized that I forgot the deep simplicity of love and my purpose in life.
That Israel and New Breed song "To worship you I live" really captures it at times. Over and over again he sings, "To worship you I live. To worship you I live, I live to worship you." And in that I realized that God is the only one who provides true rest.
Hm on another note, Pastor Young spoke about sacrifice last Sunday. I wondered to myself, 'what do I truly treasure and hold dear that I am not so willing to give up.' And my answers were food, sleep, and time. And I realized how barbaric that was and sad as well. Food because thinking about having to actually fast scares me. Sleep because I'm never willing to wake up an extra hour early to meet God. And time because I'm so busy with all that is 'life'.
In 1 Chronicles 21:24 David wants to build an alter to God after realizing his own sin. God tells him to build it on the threshing floor of a guy named Araunah, who offers to give it to David for free. This is David's response:
But the king replied to Araunah, "No, I insist on paying what it is worth.
I cannot take what is yours and give it to the Lord. I will not offer a burnt offering that has cost me nothing!"
So David gave Araunah six hundred pieces of gold in payment for the threshing floor.
I love that. And I wonder how many times in my own life I have given sacrifices to God that have cost me nothing. I bet it's more than I want to account for. I want David's attitude in life. I don't want to carry an empty cross and i don't want my words and actions to be burned as wood. If waking up earlier, fasting a meal or two, and giving more time to God and His people didn't cost me anything, they wouldn't be worthy sacrifices would they? HMmmm.