I miss studying.

Don't get me wrong, I love art school! It's just I haven't studied anything for so long that I kind of miss it. Especially anatomy. I miss studying it the night before and then going into exams and knowing the answers, even if it is only for the one hour after I read the material. (I don't remember anything from university anymore. Like nothing. What's chlorophyll again? Omg).

Anyways I wish I updated this more. DAH.

So I'm taking a photography class and our second assignment is fun stuff. It's about taking shots of the city, and although the weather sucks these days, I think I'll be able to find some good places to shoot if I rummage around dt. Does anybody know anywhere to go? The only place I can think of is china town. Like the literal plan in my head right now is to go to china town, take a picture of a bunch of exotic fruit and then I'll probably just stand there for 20 minutes not knowing what to do next.



I took this pic cause when I...I...I don't know, there must be a word for people who like to take pictures of things that they shouldn't take pictures of but like to but know it's sort of stereotypical yet not but at the same time cool but not really cool too.



Random stoplight.

There are a whole lot of things I wish right now too:

- I wish I had self-discipline in every area of my life. Especially physically. Last week I downloaded a 30-minute work out video in hopes to exercise, but I ended up watching the whole thing lying on my bed eating massive amounts of dduk.
- I wish I had a new macbook pro. OH my gosh I wish this badly. As I'm taking more pictures with my new camera, and learning how to do things with adobe programs, I'm realizing how slow my comp is and it makes me angerrr angerr.
- I wish my brother would talk to me again...
- I wish I knew exactly what I was doing with my life. I feel like every time I get a sense of direction, God only shows me the little bit that I need to press on the next few months. (Maybe he's trying to teach me something *nudge nudge* Reliance on God and not self persay? *nudge nudge*)
- I wish I could express to people how I feel and what I think in considerate and mature ways
- I wish I was going to Korea this summer!!! If Ashley ends up going and Susan and Ashley end up playing together in Korea, I'm gonna be saddened.


Tomorrow is KCF Vball tournament!! I hope to go and cheer for old Westerners!

I haven't had a week this tough for so long.
I learned in the past week, parts of myself, my family, and ultimately of God that I had not known before. But it was so hard. I don't want to get too much into it but yea.


On another note I just realized I have a paranoia with journals and notebooks.
I love having new journals but I hate not finishing them yet I am lazy.
I also tend to start new beautiful notebooks and journals for so many specific things.

Here is the list I just made:

1. Small black moleskine-like notebook for Bible study notes & Sunday sermons
2. Ehwa Notebook for Prayer Requests and Answered Prayers matched side by side (including the dates they were prayed for and answered...just started this)
3. Grey Notebook for thoughts
4. Memory Pad for Korean Vocabulary
5. Yellow Drawing Pad for drawings that I can easily slip the paper out of
6. Diary Planner thing that I do not use consistently on a day to day basis. I used a paper planner for 7 years until I got to university and suddenly the system didn't work for me. I use the computer or just write down to do lists. Yet I am in complete denial and still try to do it
7. Actual black moleskine for Bible verses to memorize & important lines/Christian sayings (which I can't find at the moment)
8. ..."Online blogs"
9. Other random notebooks that I started for "thoughts" because I couldn't find my grey one at the time.


I have this massive feeling of guilt right now. I want to like put all of those things together into ONE BIG NOTEBOOK but I feel like people would look at it and in turn read my embarassing and "heartfelt" thoughts while they laugh at me. Somebody tell me what to do. Do I finish all of these and then embark on my 'ONE BIG NOTEBOOK' plan?

BTW. My trypophobia is starting to really get to me more and more. I don't want this ...this..disease!!!

I also feel guilty that I never post pictures anymore. I am lazy major.