I haven't had a week this tough for so long.
I learned in the past week, parts of myself, my family, and ultimately of God that I had not known before. But it was so hard. I don't want to get too much into it but yea.


On another note I just realized I have a paranoia with journals and notebooks.
I love having new journals but I hate not finishing them yet I am lazy.
I also tend to start new beautiful notebooks and journals for so many specific things.

Here is the list I just made:

1. Small black moleskine-like notebook for Bible study notes & Sunday sermons
2. Ehwa Notebook for Prayer Requests and Answered Prayers matched side by side (including the dates they were prayed for and answered...just started this)
3. Grey Notebook for thoughts
4. Memory Pad for Korean Vocabulary
5. Yellow Drawing Pad for drawings that I can easily slip the paper out of
6. Diary Planner thing that I do not use consistently on a day to day basis. I used a paper planner for 7 years until I got to university and suddenly the system didn't work for me. I use the computer or just write down to do lists. Yet I am in complete denial and still try to do it
7. Actual black moleskine for Bible verses to memorize & important lines/Christian sayings (which I can't find at the moment)
8. ..."Online blogs"
9. Other random notebooks that I started for "thoughts" because I couldn't find my grey one at the time.


I have this massive feeling of guilt right now. I want to like put all of those things together into ONE BIG NOTEBOOK but I feel like people would look at it and in turn read my embarassing and "heartfelt" thoughts while they laugh at me. Somebody tell me what to do. Do I finish all of these and then embark on my 'ONE BIG NOTEBOOK' plan?

BTW. My trypophobia is starting to really get to me more and more. I don't want this ...this..disease!!!

I also feel guilty that I never post pictures anymore. I am lazy major.