Journal Frenzy

Drawing of all the journals I am currently using. It's madness.

Being in art stores is like being in chapters for me except worse. I want to buy everything but I am limited by how much my wallet hurts...like every day. I slipped today and bought a new journal/sketchbook when I really don't need one at all! ("But the paper is so thick and wonderful" the evil Lisa says).


Should I return it? It cost me like...18 dollars. *eep*

And Oh lordy, I smell french fries and bbq outside. I am jealous extreme! I am stuck home today doing my projects due next week. Turned down the beach, going to the golf range, and playing tennis/chilling with Joyful girls for this STUPIDNESS!! Okay it's not quite stupid but I is sad. :(

A Centered Process

So my fast is going well. (Except for a lapse in action on the boy part a few days ago...um all is well now, thanks ashley. hahaha)

Choices, we have so many choices and options in life. Sometimes I think it's exciting, till you have to go through with your decisions. I'm a strange decision-maker. There are times when I just do it and deal with the consequences/blessings after. Other times I'm very cautious, taking months and months to decide one thing. Looks to be the latter Lisa this time.

Chop Chop Choppy Writing.

With the church office in my basement, I have realized how much of an introvert I really am. I love being with people, I really do but I need to have my alone time. I become really grouchy and mean, tired and just not a great person altogether when I don't get it. I love riding the subway alone, just being in my room alone, or walking alone too. Of course I need people after this kind of time, but ya alone does good for me. (Maybe not too much alone?)

I love Wednesdays. It's probably because it's one of my days off from school. Tomorrow I think I'm going to have a Reflection/Artsy day. Sketching, reading, and maybe visiting a new art gallery I've never gone to before. I was supposed to play tennis with a friend but not sure if that will happen. Hopefully it will!! I want to start being more active, I'm such a three-toed sloth.

Ashley came by last weekend and I loved every moment! Even though we didn't get to do anything quite exciting, it was lovely just spending time with an old friend. I'm so glad we prayed together and I hope both of us find our answers to our life questions!

Oh yes there is one situation in my life that is really annoying me. After talking with a friend about it, I told him I would pray about the situation and tell him what I felt like God was pressing on my heart to do. I do seek obedience in my life, but I think I already know what I need and want in my life right now, at least to the extent of my intuition. I hate being forced into things...I wish I could explain in more detail but I'm afraid...someone will read this, hahaha.

This week is going to be a little busy, and then one more week...and then 10 days of freedom!!

B&D Fast.

Breakfast & Dessert Fast.

Just kidding.


So it's June 1st!
And I've been contemplating why my life is kinda dry and stuff these days.
I realized yesterday that I have not been taking any meaningful steps to reach out my hands to God, I have been placing limits. SO, ya yesterday Pastor Young's sermon was about substance abuse and things like that. I felt compelled to go on a fast.

So here is to 30 days of no boys and drink.
A.k.A. guys & alcohol. I know some of you are thinking 'lisa has no guys...she is really digging the well deep into truly becoming a cat lady'. Yes it is true, however I know what I need in my life right now, and part of me is thinking to stop this nonsense but I know what I need...at least the wise Lisa in me does.

And not that I'm an alcoholic but I have been drinking more often. And it's not like I'm a drunkard but I just don't feel like it improves the state of my life at all. So here's my love fast to God~ I want you to be number one again.

*somebody please keep me accountable. thanks.

Rainy Day.

I rearranged my entire room yesterday as an act of procrastination. Sometimes I have to physically rearrange something in my life in order for that to reflect a change in my habits/mentality. So now my desk is faced towards my window which happens to fit just perfectly! I am now officially my street's neighbourhood watch.

It's raining really hard right now. I kind of like it. I feel like the rain is washing away things clean again.

Interruption for Neighbourhood Watch Update: I keep seeing squirrels running around on the streets like crazy. They don't know in what direction to go, it's like the rain is confusing them. HAHAHAHAA they are so cute.

This past week I realized I was a little down and I didn't know what it was. As I was reading my book on the subway (I have finally found a way to finish all 13 books I have started...I read them on the subway. Genius commuters have inspired me, thank you) I came across a part in the book that talked about loving others. I know it's so cliche but sometimes we forget that there is a reason why they are so cliche.

Anyways basically I had this revelation that I suck. Yes yes it is a revelation that I have very often but this time it really made me feel free from the inside out. I realized that one of the reasons I was down is because I was not placing my efforts to love other people as much as I could. When we place all our energy on our own problems and thoughts I think we die a little inside each day. We were meant to love. We were meant to foster relationships, because that is exactly what Jesus did when he was on this earth.

I started to think...if I had to make a pie chart of how much time I spend on my own problems and life, and how much I spend on the lives of others. The result was really sad. Do I know the love languages of my closest friends? Of my own parents? Do I seek to really understand other people and how they feel loved the most? Am I really concerned about any of this? No...I'm not. This lead onto other revelations that I won't talk about here but bottomline is that I'm thankful. When we're ready to face our own inadequacies and own up to them, I think God slips in the truth in our heads little by little in ways of kindness. I know for a fact that if a person came straight up to me and said I sucked and that I have to love others more that I would probably be uber depressed for a while before I started to act on that. Yet God encourages while he shapes our character up. Well at least for me!

I am encouraged now that even though I am far from having it right, that I have today and hopefully tomorrow to place my efforts in what I have been entrusted with.

So straight up to whoever is reading this: What's your love language? From first to last?

What you're really doing...

I wrote a blog entry on the subway a few days ago:

Today on the subway I looked at one of those United Way posters that have been here and there. I think they're cool and gross at the same time. This one however caught my eye for different reasons.



It was of a guy that was coming out of a "human suit" of someone who worked in a kitchen. The "new guy" was wearing what it looked like dental assistant wear or something. I thought this was really weird because I wondered how those who really do work in kitchens (& enjoy it) feel when they view this picture. "What you're really giving is a way out". What if they don't want out? The other posters...can it be applied to them as well? It really makes me question the differences we place on ourselves versus others. And it makes me want to think more about this "great" voice we speak on others' behalf as their advocates. Do we as advocates on the "other side" really give freedom to those who have no voice to move & change? How much of this change do we control in theory as well as in practice? Can we speak on peoples behalf on a personal level? In other words, do we even know these people who we speak for as friends, as family? I know I don't for the most part. This is why the voice of one in active community is stronger than an outsider with knowledge. Knowledge vs. knowing.

***

On another note, I just came back from watching Star Trek. It was freaking amazing! I want to watch it again! And yes when I got home I did practice my 'Live long and prosper" hand sign. I loved Spock in it, a.k.a. Syler hahaha. Okay I'm officially dead beat.

A Challenge or two

I used to resent it when people would tell me that I "think too much". The best comeback I would have for those people would be, "Screw you! YOU think too much!" I think I realized it was the blatant truth yesterday. I think way too much. And thinking without action results in either bitterness, apathy, or unpainted dreams. Maybe thinking too much isn't the issue but rather your character, your perspective IN those thoughts.

My second semester of school has thus begun! HURRAH! I'm actually pretty excited about it inside but I don't like to openly show my happiness, especially to other students in my class. I don't want to be labeled as the 'geeky asian girl who actually enjoys school." (Even though it is really really true!).

One of the coming up projects involves making a functional 3D model that is either:

a) a musical instrument
b) a toy for a child
c) an object that improves/benefits society.

I decided to go with option [C]. My idea that is floating around in my head is a kit called "The Ultimate Life Guide for the Socially Awkward". It will involve LED lights, so I'm going to ATTEMPT to try to make some sort of contraption with a programmed light sequence in it as well. I realized yesterday that this involves physics, so I blurted out "FML" and just said "ok let's go with this challenge".



Today my co-student friend challenged me to a ...um challenge. We are to draw a life-drawing every single day for two weeks, or we have to pay each other a quarter for each failed day. I think it'll be a good challenge for me to take on. I fail at drawing and I really want to improve, even though it may mean me becoming the creepy sketching lady on the subway. Aigoooo.

New Korean drama = amazing happiness of life.

A lot of people need prayer these days, I want to become strong so I can pray for my friends. Community community community. Ok no longer can concentrate cause Chris and Wayne are in my room talking about life.

Art thou work

Proverbs 16:1 says:
We can gather our thoughts, but the Lord gives the right answer. (NLT)

I read that today and realized that I've been trying to find answers and solutions with my own thoughts and abilities.

He calls out to us to just let go. Especially for women, it may be hard. At least it is for me a lot of the times. To just let go, and be lead by him. What does it really mean to let go and be lead, not having to control and lead your own life, but to be lead and to follow. With a gentle and quiet, trusting heart. (I know my sentence structure is quite bad today...oh well hehe).

I'm getting a cold, so I have locked myself in my house, only to do hw, drink lots of liquids, and rest as much as I can.

Here's some stuff I did past couple of weeks. Most of the things I complete are done within the 12 hours before that it is due. I have to step up my game and get some TIME management, dangggg!

This is an assignment I had to do about value or something...yes maybe I should pay more attention haha. My teacher is a softie, so he definitely liked the mini penguins. I mean baby penguins. Used gouache for the left, and sharpie for the right.


We had to draw a pic using different colour schemes in each box (like monochromatic, complementary...etc). Here's my image of an old woman and a fish head. The day before it was due, I realized I didn't have an image to draw so I went to chapters, and found the first thing that I could think of being possible to do within 12 hours. Almost didn't make it in time! Used prismacolour markers.


And this is something I'm currently working on right now. We have to make a book of some sorts to present the different design elements. I decided to take on the challenging task of binding my own book. You can see in the first pic how I am threading the pages together! It look so long T_T. It's almost done, I have to put the pictures in and draw some stuff and write some stuff..ya I should get on that..tehe.


Also today I decided that I was going to go to this workshop called 'LEAD' that Onnuri All Nations Church is hosting. Ashley, Jo? Anybody who is reading this? If you guys want to go, go! It's free to go...Ok for some reason I feel like I am typing weird cause I just saw a documentary on Bruce Lee. And after hearing him talk, it makes me want to talk like him. He was so musheetsuh and ninja.

Anyways this is the poster for it!